Two weeks ago I too a bottle of Lorazepam and tried to kill myself. I woke up in ICU the next day.
I can't remember taking all the pills. I don't remember texting my friend from out of state to tell him what I had done. I don't remember putting on a different outfit. I guess I didn't want to be found in a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt. I don't remember much about the time leading up to what I did.
People don't want to die. I never did. I just wanted to stop feeling, stop thinking, stop being. There is such a difference in what we want to do and what we feel we need to do. You convince yourself that it is going to make things better....as if you might know that.
Ive been told I'm beautiful, smart, that I have so much to live for. Well, Gosh! Why the hell didn't I see that? That would have made everything all better. Really?
